These White Jeans

As I have written about 400 times, I am fully engaged on part 2 of my weight loss journey. I'm back, stronger than ever, and working harder than I ever thought I could. Trials, struggles, and pain can be a good thing in life if you have the strength to push through them and see the positive that could come from it. The pain I went through last year and recently, have made me want to be better than I have ever been. One step at a time, I am getting there.

On Monday November 25th, 2013 when I decided enough was enough and I needed to bounce back to the woman who loves being fit and living a healthy lifestyle, I did not realize what was ahead of me. I literally could not believe how much weight I had put on within 13-14 months. However, I swallowed that realization behind me and got to work. I lost 5, 10, 15, then 20 and so on pounds. I felt great and could see a difference naked, but it took me a long time to see good differences in my clothes. I was pretty big and the bigger you are, the slower the difference will be with clothes. I think I was at about 25 pounds before I was down a jean size. However, my thighs and butt defy the laws of genetics. Jeans for me are a nightmare. Anything that fits my thighs and butt fall off of my waist. I digress.

I have a white pair Levi jeans that I bought from Kohls in March of 2012. I still shop juniors clothes because I refuse to realize I am 24 now, ha. When I saw these pants on sale a few years back, I had to have them. I love white pants! I did not even try them on because I wanted them so bad. That night, I was going out with my friends to a local pub to watch a basketball game and have dinner and drinks. I wanted a new pair of pants to rock. I would make those jeans work no matter what.

I put them on when I was getting ready and I could barely button and zip them. I of course, made myself fit into them, but it was not the best look. My stomach was bulging out a little so I needed to wear a lose black shirt to cover it. That's what I did. I thought to myself; "Eh, I just need to lose about 5 pounds and the pants will be fine. That is easy, I can do that".

After that night, I never wore those jeans again. 

I remembered that story on November 25th, 2013 so I decided to try them on and see how they fit now. I knew I was even bigger than before - I wanted a visual of where I was though.

The jeans would go up about 2 inches above my knee and that was it.

I think I stood in my bedroom in shock for about 5 minutes. I was frozen in disbelief, anger, and heartache. That truly put everything in perspective for me.

I have been working very hard since then to get this weight off. Initially, every week I would try those jeans on, living for the day when they would fit.

The first weekend in February one of my best friends, Jennifer was spending the weekend with me. We were getting ready to go uptown for dinner and I thought I would wear my white jeans. I tried them on and they still were not ready. I was down 25 pounds at this time and was hurt they still did not fit. However there was nothing I could do about that, except continue to work hard. 

I chose another pair of jeans that night and forgot all about them... until yesterday.

Wednesday night when I was picking out what I was going to wear for work Thursday, I suddenly remembered those white jeans. Since we were having a March Madness party, we could dress casual.

I tried the pants on.

And they fit.

Perfectly.

Even with wiggle room on the waist.

There are going to be days when you are so tired. There are going to be days when you feel like you are working your butt off for nothing. Weight loss is a slow, hard process. I cannot pretend that it isn't. To be successful you need to make conscious choices in everything you do. You have to stop yourself when you are reaching for that piece of candy, that extra cocktail, that extra helping of food. You are going to have to push yourself to exercise when you don't feel like it. You are going to have to pass on a night out sometimes because you need to watch your caloric intake and get adequate rest. However, moments like this, make it all worth it. The moments when are fitting into clothes that a few months ago would not go past your knees is an incredible feeling. Your dedication all comes together in that moment. Your raw, hard, solid work did this.