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"Why Women Might Not Ask for What They Really Want Part of the problem here is that for many people, talking about sex in an open and honest way is not something they have much experience doing. “Many people, both men and women, shy away from expressing their kinky desires because society teaches us those things are dirty or only ‘certain’ types of people do them,” says Kayla Lords, a sexpert for JackAndJillAdult.com and the founder of LovingBDSM.net. “There’s still a very real stigma around confessing your kinky or sexual desires and many women worry about rejection or ridicule from a partner.” Gigi Engle, a sex and intimacy expert for SKYN, also notes that no one wants to be judged by their significant other. “We don't want to ask for something and be told you're not into it or think we're gross or weird,” she says. This is a concept known as “kink-shaming” — the idea that certain sexual desires are weirder or grosser than others. Even if you’re relatively open-minded, you probably find some fetishes strange rather than sexy, and often that leads to certain sex acts, and the people who enjoy them, being made fun of. " 

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