"Broken heart A woman could also be hesitant to give her heart away if it has recently been broken. Maybe her last boyfriend didn't treat her properly or cheated on her. This case is tough because such a woman is in self-protect mode and only one helluva great guy will be able to snap her out of it. In fact, this woman will only get into a new relationship if she feels that the guy in question is trustworthy and not out to hurt her. The problem is that if you try to project such a persona in a forced manner, she'll pick you off as a phony who's trying too hard, and your efforts will backfire. If you're sure that you really want to deal with this, you may want to encourage her to talk about her past with you, assuming that she even wants to. I'm afraid that, in this case, it's entirely up to her to decide when and with whom she will feel comfortable starting a new, hopefully very sexual, relationship. Seen it all Maybe the woman you're after is afraid because she's seen way too much for any one person to bear — too many dysfunctional relationships, seriously messed-up individuals, and more hatred, greed, pain, jealousy, injustice, and misery to last a lifetime. Someone who knows just how ugly the dark side of human behavior can get will be very guarded as to whom they let into their lives. Such a woman will generally have a certain intuition about people and will use it to her advantage to help her determine who merits her trust. If she herself is kind-hearted, she will just want to know that you are too, and that you are not prone to the various types of madness that she's seen in other people and situations. So, while you can still be mysterious, don't be mean. A matter of trust For women with a fear of intimacy, trust seems to be the order of the day. So I'm afraid that if you aren't trustworthy, you're barking up the wrong tree. If, on the other hand, you can be trusted, then remember not to try to get into her head. While, deep down, everyone wants to be understood, no one wants to be psychoanalyzed by their lover — be a friend, not a therapist. One last point: Don't misinterpret her lack of interest in you for a fear of intimacy; she may just not like you in that way. She might just be extremely choosy, and be holding out for the guy who she feels best meets her expectations."
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