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"Another gendered aspect to this, Engle notes, is that women are often socialized to worry about other people’s wellbeing before their own, and this plays out in sex as well. "

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"Sex isn't something we're told we should want,” says Engle, “and if we do, we must be sluts. This kind of thinking makes being an openly sexual woman somewhat difficult and complex. We're told to be sexy, but not too sexual. Good in bed, but not slutty. It's a lot o…

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"There’s a long-standing double standard there that still exists — known as “slut-shaming” — and that factors into things like how comfortable women feel asking for things in bed, even if they really trust the other person. "

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"Think about it: A guy who hooks up a lot is a player or a stud; the words for a woman who does the exact same thing are much less kind. Lots of guys will turn their nose up at a woman who isn’t a virgin, but don’t have to worry that they’ll be treated similarly if they aren’t. &quo…

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"Another big part of the problem is that growing up, guys are often expected to be (and encouraged to be) sexual beings, whereas women are often shamed for the same feelings and behavior"

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"Why Women Might Not Ask for What They Really Want Part of the problem here is that for many people, talking about sex in an open and honest way is not something they have much experience doing. “Many people, both men and women, shy away from expressing their kinky

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This is a concept known as “kink-shaming” — the idea that certain sexual desires are weirder or grosser than others. Even if you’re relatively open-minded, you probably find some fetishes strange rather than sexy, and often that leads

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"Gigi Engle, a sex and intimacy expert for SKYN, also notes that no one wants to be judged by their significant other. “We don't want to ask for something and be told you're not into it or think we're gross or weird,” she says"

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"Many people, both men and women, shy away from expressing their kinky desires because society teaches us those things are dirty or only ‘certain’ types of people do them,” says Kayla Lords, a sexpert for

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"Part of the problem here is that for many people, talking about sex in an open and honest way is not something they have much experience doing."

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